


Time to live

by Staubsaugerin



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 07:50:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3602136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Staubsaugerin/pseuds/Staubsaugerin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took him years to learn to live again. But in the end, he did it. And she was the reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time to live

Jane was sitting in his bed, thinking. He couldn’t sleep. Lisbon was lying next to him and sleeping. It had been a beautiful, but exhausting day. Today they got married and he still couldn’t quite believe it. After Angela died, he didn’t want to go on. The only reason, why he stayed alive, was, that he wanted to take revenge for her death. But then he met Lisbon. It had done him good, to have her around almost every day. She somehow managed to make him to feel better, just with her smile. 

On the day he first met her, he didn’t believe, he would ever fall in love again. There were days when he had trouble getting out of bed. But she was always there. And with every single day it got a little bit easier. As he noticed, that she slowly started falling for him, he was rather amused. He saw her as a friend back then, didn’t think, that she would ever be anything more. He would never have thought, that he would ever love her as much, as he did now. She was there for him, every single time, when he was on the verge of giving up. And he had made so many mistakes in all this years, had lied to her and betrayed her and still she always stayed by his side. She never stoped loving him, no matter, how often he hurt her. Jane knew, that he didn’t deserve this wonderful woman next to him.  
After he killed Red John, she was the first person he thought of.

For a little moment he considered it – he took revenge for Angela, there actually wasn’t a reason for him to stay alive. But then he thought of her, of her smile and how much she would want to him to keep on living. So he stayed alive. And for the first time it actually felt like living. He was happy. The only thing that he really missed their on that beach was Lisbon next to him. He wrote every week, knowing that he would never get an answer. But he did it anyway, because he was sure, that she was happy about his letters and because it was the only thing, that helped, to make the feeling of missing her a little bit less difficult. And as he could hold her in his arms again, after all this time, he was the happiest person in the world. It was almost, as if not a minute had passed. At that moment he already knew, that he loved her. But he wasn’t yet ready to try it , not ready to leave Angela completly behind him und to risk everything again. He never thought, he would ever be confronted with the chance of losing her. 

As she started dating Pike, he didn’t found it that bad at the beginning. He was a little bit jealous, of course, but he didn’t thought that it would last. Later he tried to tell himself, that she was happier that way and that he should grant her that. He knew, that he was lying to himself, he knew, that she wanted nothing more than to be with him and he knew that he made them both unhappy. But he just couldn’t get himself to change his spots. As she really decided to go to Washington with Pike, he started to realize, that once again he was about to lose the most important person in his life. So he finally told her what he felt for her, even trough he was afraid of it.

He couldn’t live with the thought of waking up and not having her around. Jane needed her in his life. And she stayed with him. He probably would never forget the moment of their first kiss. Of course not everything had always been wonderful from that moment on, they were both probably to damaged for that. But with every day with her by his side his life became a little more worth living. He still couldn’t quite believe that she really married him. And that she told him, that she was pregnant. He would probably have trouble falling asleep today at all, but for the first time not because he was afraid of the nightmares, but because his life was now better, than even the best dream could ever be. He had finally started living again. And she was the reason.


End file.
